Steelers Draft Breakdown: C+

1) Ryan Shazier – LB, Ohio State

2) Stephon Tuitt – DT, Notre Dame

3) Dri Archer – RB, Kent State

4) Martavis Bryant – WR, Clemson

5) Shaquille Richardson – CB, Arizona

5) Wesley Johnson – C, Vanderbilt

6) Jordan Zumwalt – OLB, UCLA

6) Dan McCullers – DT, Tennessee

7) Rob Blanchflower – TE, UMass

The Steelers biggest needs going into this season were clearly NT, CB, and WR.  One could say DE, but we all know Keisel can play still play and he’s probably sitting in tree stand somewhere, hunting some bear, and waiting for his phone to ring.  The big question is, did they address their needs?  This is a 16-16 over the last two seasons football team that needs STARTERS.  So, have their gaping, Octomom-like holes been patched up and addressed?  Yes.  They have.  Sadly, just in rounds 4-7 though.

1) How can you not love Stephon Tuitt as a 3-4 DE and Ryan Shazier’s 4.4 speed paired up with Timmons in the middle?  I think those are two picks that will significantly help the Steelers.  Can’t have Vince Williams starting again this year.  But the fact remains that since Casey Hampton left this team, the defense has been sub par.  The Steelers BIGGEST NEED for 2014 was a giant 3-4 nose tackle to plug up the middle.  You think it was just Farrior and Timmons making all of those plays all those years?  No.  It was Casey Hampton’s fat turd frame taking up 2, sometimes 3 offensive linemen at a time.  Basically what the Steelers have right now are three, 3-4 type defensive ends playing in their 3-4 scheme.  Tuitt, Hayward, McLendon.  McLendon showed last year he can’t be a 3-4 NT.  They decided to address the NT need in the 6th round, of all places, taking Dan McCullers out of Tennessee.  Now, unless Colbert and Tomlin know something we don’t and McCullers is some type of steal, I don’t care how fast Timmons and Shazier are, they still need someone plugging up the interior of the line upfront.  Maybe that will be Cam Thomas who they signed in the off season?  But the dude was available for a reason and got benched last year with the Chargers.

2) Are you fucking serious taking Dri Archer in the 3rd round?  It seems these dudes think their the Patriots or the 49ers, with the audacity to draft what will be a 3rd string running back with their 3rd round round pick.  I get it, he ran a 4.26 and clearly has blazing athleticism, but if you think for a second that wasn’t a reach or a misuse of a pick then your bloody fucking stupid.  This team needs potential starters.  Not scat backs that will touch the ball 5-6 times a game.

3) Martavius Bryant.  Eh.  Clearly the size of what they need to compliment Antonio Brown, but obviously if he fell to the 4th round it’s a total coin flip on if this dude will work out or not.  For every Antonio Brown or Mike Wallace the Steelers have taken, opposite there is a Limas Sweed or dare I say it, an Emmanuel “Stone Hands” Sanders.  It’s the same exact situation with Shaq Richardson as their 5th round pick at corner.  A huge need that they decided to address with a late pick.  Again, a coin flip.  For every Keenan Lewis or Cortez Allen there’s been a Curtis Brown and a Terry Hawthorne.

All said.  I give it a C+.  There are still gaping problems with this defense that weren’t addressed and there are way too many question marks still at corner, wide out, and nose tackle.  If this draft doesn’t work out, it’s Colbert who is getting the ax next year.  I’m becoming more and more convinced that Kevin Colbert on draft day locks his office door, hides under his desk crying, and then takes shots of Jim Beam until he gains the liquid courage to make it over to the war room.

Final Note – Are there any good Notre Dame or Ohio State players in the league?  Very few.  Just something to think about.

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Monica Lewinsky Still Riding The Wave In Exclusive With Vanity Fair

Vanity Fair – After 10 years of virtual silence (“So silent, in fact,” she writes, “that the buzz in some circles has been that the Clintons must have paid me off; why else would I have refrained from speaking out? I can assure you that nothing could be further from the truth”), Lewinsky, 40, says it is time to stop “tiptoeing around my past—and other people’s futures. I am determined to have a different ending to my story. I’ve decided, finally, to stick my head above the parapet so that I can take back my narrative and give a purpose to my past. (What this will cost me, I will soon find out.)”

Maintaining that her affair with Clinton was one between two consenting adults, Lewinsky writes that it was the public humiliation she suffered in the wake of the scandal that permanently altered the direction of her life: “Sure, my boss took advantage of me, but I will always remain firm on this point: it was a consensual relationship. Any ‘abuse’ came in the aftermath, when I was made a scapegoat in order to protect his powerful position. . . . The Clinton administration, the special prosecutor’s minions, the political operatives on both sides of the aisle, and the media were able to brand me. And that brand stuck, in part because it was imbued with power.”

Why does Monica Lewinsky catch so much flak?  I’m a Lewinsky sympathizer because of all the criticism and threats she’s received throughout the years.  When 100% of all women are blowing Bill in that situation.  100%.  Fuck it, I’m blowing Bill in that situation.  It’s an American honor.

It’s the President of the United States and Monica was a slightly overweight, boring intern, with no real significant future or fame.  In my opinion, Monica made the best investment of her life.  Clinton got a beej and Monica Lewinsky lives comfortably due to books, appearances, and articles like this.  She got the gift that keeps on giving.  16 years later.  The blowjob heard round the world. Only someone with good business acumen would recognize she made a genius decision and that albeit 10 minutes of hard stroking wild Bill, it’s been a lopsided transaction ever since.

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Olsen Twins Show Up To The Met Gala

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The Olsen Twins.  America’s long lost, anorexic sweethearts are back for more.  Looking like a couple Gollum’s at the Met Gala last night.

These bitches eat less food than black guys eat pussy.  Crazy thing is, if they had a little bit of meat on them they might be decent little petite broads.  I just assume when I look at girls that skinny, that their vaginas are recklessly dehydrated due to lack of nutrients.  They look weird, they sound weird, they do weird things.  I think we were all kind of stoked to be away from their awkwardness for so long.

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Governor Cuomo Sting Nabs 30 NYC Liquor Stores For Selling To Minors

NEW YORK (AP) — More than 30 New York City grocery and liquor stores recently have been caught selling liquor to minors, the state’s governor said.

Gov. Andrew Cuomo announced the results of the sweep Monday.

The State Liquor Authority sent minors undercover into 74 stores between April 17 and May 1 to try to buy alcohol, Cuomo said. They were accompanied by investigators quietly watching from elsewhere in the stores.

Cuomo said the decoy buyers were able to purchase liquor at a total of 32 stores – 15 out of 16 stores in Brooklyn sold alcohol to underage customers; one of 15 stores sold liquor to minors in the Bronx. The rates in the city’s other boroughs were in the middle.

The shops face fines of up to $10,000 per violation.

The effort is intended to run through September and check out 1,000 stores around the city.

Read more: http://pix11.com/2014/05/06/in-sweep-32-nyc-shops-sold-liquor-to-minors-gov/#ixzz30wS25cmS

Read more at http://pix11.com/2014/05/06/in-sweep-32-nyc-shops-sold-liquor-to-minors-gov/#kFRtcM8v66p4DezV.99

NEW YORK (AP) — More than 30 New York City grocery and liquor stores recently have been caught selling liquor to minors, the state’s governor said.

Gov. Andrew Cuomo announced the results of the sweep Monday.

The State Liquor Authority sent minors undercover into 74 stores between April 17 and May 1 to try to buy alcohol, Cuomo said. They were accompanied by investigators quietly watching from elsewhere in the stores.

Cuomo said the decoy buyers were able to purchase liquor at a total of 32 stores – 15 out of 16 stores in Brooklyn sold alcohol to underage customers; one of 15 stores sold liquor to minors in the Bronx. The rates in the city’s other boroughs were in the middle.

The shops face fines of up to $10,000 per violation.

The effort is intended to run through September and check out 1,000 stores around the city.

What a douchy move here by the Cuomo.  Really, all the rapes in murders in the Greater New York City Area and Gov. Cuomo is using the sweet tax cash to nab the real criminals.  All this tells me is that fake ID technology for college kids is no operating at it’s highest quality level these days.  God forbid I run a liquor store and a few sneaky buttholes with flawless ID’s slip through the crack.  Crazy as it sounds, whether your an owner with the highest integrity or the shittiest of care in the world, your going to accidently serve someone illegally sooner or later.  Gov Cuomo… grand master douchebag right here.  Got to make that papah though.

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If You Can’t Admit As A Straight Man That Zac Efron Is A Good Looking Dude In Neighbors You Simply Cannot Be Trusted

Unless you’ve been shacked up in Donald Sterling’s “Hitler’s last days”-esc bunker for the last week and a half you would know Seth Rogan’s new movie “Neighbors” came out this weekend starring he and Zac Efron.

Am I the only straight dude in the world whose blown away by the handsomeness of Zac Efron?  No wonder this bastard is famous.  For Christ sakes did God impregnate Mrs. Efron himself?  I mean how much unpursued tail does this guy pull in?  He must literally sigh and roll his eyes when anyone below a 10 requests to have sex with him.  Like “how dare you beg me to bang you Kate Upton?  You are not even in my league bitch.”

This fucking dude.  What a life.  Genetic highway robbery.  It must be an amazing power to be able to steal anyone’s girlfriend at any time.  Pretty much the closest thing we have to a modern day super hero.  I’m Team Efron from here on out.  Even if you were ranked 20th in his entourage your still banging 9.5’s or higher just by association.

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Dont Let Mayweather Steal You $$$ Again Tonight

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Can we all just agree to quit funding Floyd’s shitty entertainment value by agreeing to watch him dance around some scrub tomato can and win again by decision tonight?  We all know it’s coming.  Drives me nuts.  Watching a Floyd Mayweather flight is as exciting as reading Great Expectations.  Not that Mayweather isn’t a great fighter, it’s just his game that is boring.  It’s like watching the Spurs beat down on the Sixers.  Honestly, there’s probably more contact on Johnny Weir’s living room couch than a Mayweather fight.  If everyone quits buying this boring shit, then it makes it advantageous for Floyd to start taking more risky fights.  Agree? Great.  Until then, as the great President George W Bush once said:

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”

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I’m Didn’t Wish Cancer On Donald Sterling But God Dammit I Love Being Right

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Well how about that?  The old man IS indeed going to croke.  Called it on Tuesday.  I knew it the minute this story blew up.  My reaction wasn’t “oh Donald Sterling is racist as shit” or “oh you shouldn’t say that about black people”.  No, my reaction was “Donald Sterling is going to drop dead within a year”.

Now granted, I predicted a heart attack-like death, but I guess I have to meet Lucifer halfway on this one and call it a deal.

Side Note: Kind of crazy the turn of events Donald Sterling has had in the past two weeks.

Two Weeks Ago – Billionaire, owner of the Clippers, team fighting for a championship, sitting courtside, half black side piece, receiving NAACP award

Today – racist, losing his team, entire country hates him, banned from Clippers events, lost his side piece, can’t sit courtside, no longer receiving NAACP award… oh and he has cancer and is going to die alone.

 

 

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