Let’s see the Steelers season ended on December 29th, 2013… meaning it’s been 57 days since my last #SportsDepressionCig. Then came mighty Jameis Winston and the Florida State Seminoles to town yesterday. Oh wait… it wasn’t Famous Jameis? NO, it was their yang to their ying piece of shit basketball program that came in and fucked the Pitt Panthers up, that drove me to a local gas station and spit out the words “Marlboro Lights”.
Same story. Year in…. year out…. I have to watch this team, these fucking dickheads, fuck with my shit. Their non conference schedule is a straight joke, they go 15-0 or some bullshit, and then come conference play they take a big, smelly, Taco Bell-like dump on their national ranking, conference, and NCAA tournament chances. It seems underachieving makes Jamie Dixon and AD Steve Peterson spray mass seamen over the poor little undergrads of the Oakland Zoo like the Ghostbusters inside the Statue of Liberty. (Tribute to Harold Ramis)
Here’s the reality for this dreadful-to-watch Pitt basketball team. Let’s call it like it fuckin is:
– Lamar Patterson basically needs to shoot 25 times per game at 50%
– Defensively they need to hold their opponents to less than 65 points
– Michael Young needs to have his ass glued to the pine
If the starting lineup was ranked in terms of offensive weapons it would be Patterson at 1 and then 5, 5, 5, 5. At this point can we bring the Asian dude walk-on off the bench or something? Who knows… maybe get some Joshua Ko type Linsanity via Pitt basketball up in this bitch.
Pitt @ BC on Wednesday night. God speed ye Pitt faithful.